Happy: 2022 Recap

One word to describe my 2022 is 'happy'. I can feel my brain healing and reaping the rewards of two years of therapy, healthy habits and nurturing relationships. 

2022 was the first year I had so much free time since perhaps elementary school. The stark contrast of a remote-first job against the constant stress of design school made this year feel like a working vacation. Knowing that such a time in life is precious & ephemeral, I tried to make the most of it. Below is a roundup of how my time was spent, and some serendipitous moments: 

Professional 

• Started first full-time product design job! (and received a spot bonus after 5 mos :') 
• Created a campaign name concept that was chosen for Rihanna's Clara Lionel Foundation's upcoming campaign (launching 2023!) 
• Gained unexpected soft skills, inspiring work colleagues, and a more nuanced perspective on work 
• Sharpened my branding & logo design skills for a Ukraine radio project, a fintech startup, a B2B banking company, a supercar teaser campaign and my own portfolio 
• Began a small collection of analog & digital portraits, paintings & illustrations (personal & commissioned) 
• Organized an art night workshop...then two...then a kids' painting workshop at a friend's golf club! 
• Started a Medium design blog! 

Personal 

• Started running on Saturday mornings with some church friends (against all night owl odds thanks to an accidental Viet ube latte) that miraculously reset my circadian rhythm 
• Learned some more K-pop dances from favourite artists at home (best full-body workout) — and finally committed to taking classes at a local dance studio in 2023 :)
• Tried my hand at some no-bake desserts: vegan matcha cheesecake, matcha tiramisu, Japanese egg custard pudding :3 (to be continued) 
• Expanded my self-learning curriculum (probability & stats, compsci/datasci & Python 101, econ 101, chess, trauma psych & neurosci, digital painting & pixel art, vocal training... 2023 curriculum coming soon) 
• Enjoyed paradigm-shifting literature on design, finance, psychology/neuroscience, and faith (highlights: Design of Everyday Things, Microinteractions, I Will Teach You to be Rich, The Body Keeps the Score, C-PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, The Mystery of the Holy Spirit, The Knowledge of the Holy, Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert) 
• Established a 'conscious spending plan' and passive investment portfolio
• Enjoyed enriching hikes, film screenings, study sessions, art exhibits and museum trips with friends 
• Experienced some classic seasonal activities (apple picking, paddle boarding, skiing) for the first time 
• Had fun curating student care packages for Christmas 

Spiritual & Relational

• Decided to finally become a member of my church 
• Concluded my first, and joined my second intergenerational small group
• Finally resumed serving in Friday fellowship music ministry 
• Read & listened to Scripture with a chronological cross-reference reading app
• Reunited with my only first cousin :')
• Broke personal records for consecutive weekends (and weeknights) of non-stop social events, without social anxiety 
• Survived countless introvert hangovers and expanded my social battery in the process
• Began to feel a real & deep sense of belonging and desire for fellowship & friends 
• Gained a greater understanding of boundaries, relational intelligence, attachment theory, and how to be a safe person for the people in my life 

Intrapersonal  

• Began to understand how my early attachment wounds affect my relationships today, and so embark on a journey of healing 
• Learning to honor and not abandon myself while pursuing human connection 
• Further refined my Intuition™️ (predictive analytics) machine: to play Jackbox, give music  recommendations, glean deep interpersonal insights and determine my 'next best action' (see below)
• Made progress on just about all my 2022 goals by God's grace and gleaned valuable insights to inform my 2023 goals 
• Learning to relax, prioritize and let go of less important things 

The following are a collection of introspections and musings from 2022. 

On a revised self-management system.

Time is an invaluable, non-renewable resource. After struggling with time management for most of my school years, I adapted the 7 Habits weekly planner into a bespoke Google Calendar visual time planning & tracking system at the start of my final year of undergrad. Two years later, I have a transformed relationship with myself as well as a data visualization of my life rhythms and behavioural trends. In reflecting, I find various blessings and limitations of this system for my perfectionistic ADHD brain. It seems this multi-coloured time graph is where the various 'parts' of myself bring their agendas to the negotiation table. Certain parts (eg. the 'achiever') have a tendency to dominate and create dysfunction; I sometimes mis-categorize superficial ambitions for deeper priorities and burn myself out in the process. Below is a revised planning framework for my 2023 based on Franklin Covey's quadrant principle: 

QUADRANT 1 (Urgent & important): Prior commitments. Work, church, appointments, scheduled engagements. Block out and honour. 

QUADRANT 2 (Not urgent but important): Crucial wellness & maintenance activities. Exercise, time with family & friends, housework, some errands. Soft-block in calendar and allow flexibility. 

QUADRANT 2/3 (Somewhat urgent/important): Discretionary activities tied to personal goals. Reading, hobbies, self-studying, some errands. List but allow full flexibility. 

QUADRANT 4: Necessary breathing space, in-between time, introvert recharge time. Don't list, but make room for proportionately in between Quadrant 1–3 activities. 

On my next best action.

I'm learning that in each passing moment, there is a fairly short list of subsequent actions that are most ideal (logical, effective, meaningful, etc). Of these options, there is usually one most optimal choice, which I'll call the 'next best action'. 

This next best action varies greatly per situation.
Sometimes it's to continue what I'm doing (already the best action).
Oftentimes, it's to try something different. 
At times it's to reach out or speak up; other times it's to refrain.
At times, to focus on work; other times, to rest and reassess.
Many times, it's to go to bed. 

The three-fold challenge becomes as follows: 

1. To know how to identify the next best action,
2. To honestly identify it, and then 
3. To have the energy and motivation to do it while it still counts. 

Each point could have books written on its definition and discussion. I see how easy it is to miss one of the above requisites and thus end up not doing the thing I should. 

On top of context, the order often matters greatly. The next three best actions may only be best if performed in sequence. This has been a formidable challenge for my ADHD brain. However, it seems applying this next-best-action principle can prime the mind for a highly effective and Christ-like life. 

Also, there is one timeless Best Action that can be taken in conjunction with any of the contextual best actions: to seek and glorify God. This can take many forms in a given moment: a silent prayer, a trespass forgiven, a shifted perspective. 

Here arises a new goal: to seek to identify and do that which is most optimal in every possible moment (especially if it's to give myself grace when I fail), alongside the constant Best Action I can take anytime. 

On meeting my Intuition.

It seems God has given me a robust Intuition that is subconsciously learning beyond what my conscious mind can fathom. At age 25 I essentially have two disparate minds: Intellect who likes to rationalize and take control of things it doesn't know (to my demise), and Intuition who often sees a few seconds into the future, knows my next best action in any given moment and 80% of the answers in Jackbox Murder Trivia. 

If my Intuition so accurate and wise, why don't I pay it more attention? Because Intuition processes data and comes to insights in a non-linear and highly complex way, with low explainability. I'm starting to learn that accuracy and explainability are not as strongly correlated as Intellect would like.  

Good things happen when I listen to my Intuition. Talk to this person. Pick this answer in trivia. Ask these friends if they've purchased tickets yet. Make matcha tiramisu for the party. Buy the MUJI earmuffs. Wear the MUJI earmuffs. 

My Intuition, by nature, is a soft whisper that often fades into the background of the clear assertive voice of my Intellect—and sadly like many group situations, the loudest voice gets followed. I'm catching it more and more often. As my Intuition suggests an action, my Intellect quickly dismisses it with some contextual excuse—as I soon realize my mistake. 

In 2023, I'll work on honouring Intuition's voice for wiser living. 

On re-parenting self + learning to love.

Up until recently, my relationship with my (inner child) self has been largely authoritarian: harsh, unreasonably strict and overly critical. Now, I am learning to parent myself authoritatively: with kindness, clear boundaries on important matters and flexibility with the rest, and loving, constructive feedback & iteration. It's been a challenging, rewarding and most worthwhile journey. 

I am learning to love myself. Not 'love' as a reactive egotistical response, but as a resolute, everyday decision to honor and care for my self that God made—in order to love others as myself. A deep discussion with a friend over dinner opened my eyes to this: We love because Christ first loved us. I don't always like or understand the way I am, but I can choose to trust and submit to the goodness of God's plan—to refine me into Christ-likeness for His purposes and glory. 

On belonging.

One night at a friend's place, there was an impromptu 'most painful memory' roundtable discussion. I briefly recounted my high school struggles as a socially awkward, socially anxious teen and felt amazingly heard and understood by these pensive listeners. At the end, one friend kindly noted that I belong here, now. Touched, I find a moment looking out the window into the lakeshore night view as the group chatters on. How surreal this is, to be warm and safe, surrounded by friends who accept me. I didn't think this day would come so soon, this moment that I would've given an arm and a leg to experience as an adolescent. What a blessing and privilege it is, to be seen and held—by safe people, by loving friends. 

On 26, and polymath dreams. 

I've had the privilege of specializing in the arts & design for the first 25 years of my life. Now, I'm increasingly aware of and interested in all that I don't yet know about the world. God willing, in the next quarter-century I hope to rediscover life through the lens of STEM, social sciences, economics and other fields. My motivations may be mixed with childish ambition (to be a polymath because it's cool), but ultimately I hope to understand God's creation from new perspectives and glorify Him in new ways. 

In my 26th year of life, I'd like to work on healing my early attachment wounds and grow in secure relationship with safe people—having experienced the paradoxical truth that true freedom stems from a bedrock of life-giving bonds with God and people. I hope to create more opportunities to enter flow state and expand my mind and potential for positive impact. I hope to continue building life skills and developing my own systems for living and loving fully. Above all, I hope to learn to truly rest in God and grow in Christ-likeness alongside my spiritual family, come what may. 

That's all for my 2022 recap; thanks for reading :) Hope this was useful or uplifting to you in some way. Wishing you and yours a 2023 of holistic wellness and breakthroughs!