The End of a Beautiful Dream...or Is It the Beginning?

Home, sweet home. <3
It's been 2 days since I've arrived back in my own comfy city. Everything since the airport happened in a daze...the flight felt like we were being carried in a time tunnel in to another dimension. And this entire time, I had the strangest feeling of being like Lucy in the Chronicles of Narnia, when she spent what seemed like a lifetime in that magical world, only to step out of the wardrobe and realize only a few hours have passed. 

It's all been like a fantasy movie in so many ways; every night since I came back I've been having dreams of those students I've grown to love, and during the day I couldn't go a few hours without something reminding me of life in China. Walking along the peaceful streets near my house feels disorienting, like my body is present but through my mind I'm seeing myself walk through those loud, crowded avenues of Du'An, Guangxi that became my summer home. Although I could barely read them, I miss seeing Chinese characters everywhere I go, the people and atmosphere that were just...different. I miss the streets bursting with a rumble of activity, the happy children at play, the little steaming food stalls carrying intoxicating smells, the live chickens and various farm animals kept in large pens off the side of the roads, the businesses the natives ran in hopes of a good future for their kids, the scent of ambition and chasing dreams in every corner of this little county, way off in the mountains. I miss them all. :'(

But what I miss most are the friendships that were built. The senior high school students I was lucky enough to teach English to, they never ceased to amaze me in whatever they did. By the end of the 10 days of English camp we were practically school friends, they accepted me for who I am even though I was an alien to them, and I adored them like my fellow companions. The new friends I've made throughout the global teaching team with people young and old from the US, Australia, Hong Kong, Brunei...and the old ones I've inevitably became closer with-as we trained together, waited for long hours at the airports together, ate together, talked about whatever we wanted together, laughed together, sang together, had naps on the bus together, cried together and loved together...Without realizing it they became the brothers and sisters I never had :')

I once heard from someone the quote, "Don't be sad that it's over, be glad that it happened." I think this quote perfectly describes how I'm feeling right now. Trying to convince myself to just be happy and grateful for having been blessed with such a wonderful opportunity has never been so difficult...up to now whenever I think back to a week earlier when I was still living that dream, I can't help but feel a pang of longing in my chest: I want to go back.

If I could, God willing, right at this moment I would go back, without second thought. <3

...But I can't, because now I have work to do. Important work, work that may just change the lives of others. It's work I can't afford to neglect.

So it's home sweet home for now :)

oxovo